- Mom: Yeah, I remember when you were dating your first boyfriend, and the only reason you went out with him was because your self-esteem was so low.
- Me: Yes, that is true, but people change, mum, and look at me now! I'm flawless.
- Mom: *spits out drink*
Okay so I’m Facebook friends with this Mormon guy I went to high school with and he’s making everyone guess where he’s going for his mission
I couldn’t stop myself from saying “ORLANDOOOO”
Ooh the only reason I had pictures of Matt Smith in my car was to provide references for the stylist who cut my best friend’s hair in his likeliness and he’s actually pulling it off really well :)
I trapped a potato bug that crawled out of the vacuum underneath a cup and then put a book on top of the cup for good measure
I can hear it
If I wake up in a few hours and find it missing, I will flip dicks
Oh god it’s coming for me
They Might Be Giants will be here
In Santa Cruz, CA
30 miles away from my college
And Jonathan Coulton is opening for them
And the event is completely sold out, no tickets on StubHub or anything
And I would find out that it’s in two days